Cornish News

  King's Pinky Finger Ring Monument Revealed In Cornwall. The statue is made from an old moped tyre. Residents of Pool in Redruth, Cornwall have erected an unusual monument to commemorate this weekend's coronation of King Charles. The strange statue, which consists of a street bollard fitted with a 1970s Yamaha Passola tyre, pays homage not only to the new king but also to the old days of Cornwall where people could happily ride stolen motorbikes around footpaths and parks without a care in the world. The monument, which reportedly cost £10,000 to organise, is a striking resemblance to the King's pinky finger, which has had a signet ring fitted on it since the 1970s. The monument has been met with mixed reactions from locals, with some finding it quirky and amusing, while others are less impressed. Sue's moped. Sue Sharp, a resident of Pool, had a rather unique take on the monument, saying: "I think the tyre came off the old moped I had stolen from my back garden!

  Jamie Oliver Makes Cream Teas Like A Janner. Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has sparked outrage among the people of Cornwall after posting a video on his Facebook page showing how to make scones the "Devon way" by spreading cream on the scone before the jam. This goes against the Cornish tradition of spreading jam first, followed by cream. Oliver's video, which was captioned "Because it only feels appropriate that we bake scones at some point this weekend...!" to celebrate the coronation weekend, has not gone down well with locals in Cornwall, despite his connection to the county. Comments left on the Cornish News Facebook page showed that many people were unhappy with Oliver's unconventional method. Kelly wrote: "He needs to leave things that don’t concern him alone." While Tim added, "I'm more disappointed with the size of the actual scone than which way the cream is." Ivan T said "He ought to know better. That's the last ov

Poldark Open Air Cinema Scam Leaves Tourists Stranded on Cornish Beach Dozens of tourists have become stranded on Hayle Beach in Cornwall after falling victim to a scam set up by a local man. The man, who is believed to go by the name of Brian Mitchell, was wearing a hi-viz jacket and holding a sign that advertised "Poldark Marathon - Open Air Cinema £20 per car, or £5 for holidaymakers". Tourists eagerly queued up to enter the cinema, only to find themselves driving down onto the beach where their cars quickly became stuck in the sand. It soon became apparent that the cinema was not real, and that Brian had tricked the holidaymakers in order to make money. When a tourist attempted to confront Brian about the situation, he quickly ran away, leaving almost 20 cars stuck on the beach. Local authorities later caught up with him when he was spotted queuing up outside Philps' pasty shop. The RAC has now arrived on the scene, but it is estimated that it could take up to two day

New Law Will Force Britons To Wear Tinfoil Hats Outdoors To Combat Global Warming. The UK government has announced plans to mandate the wearing of tinfoil hats outdoors in an attempt to combat climate change. This decision comes after a recent scientific study conducted by the Climate Institute (CI), revealed that if every individual in the UK, wore a tinfoil hat outdoors, the reflection of sunlight, away from the earth would significantly reduce the earth's temperature, thereby reversing climate change. The project will cost somewhere in the region of £2 billion pounds. A 43-year-old unemployed man from Cornwall, named Steve Heller, has already started wearing a tinfoil hat and believes that everyone should do the same. He said, "I wear my hat all the time. It's like masks. If you were seen wearing a mask, people would say you were stupid. Then a few months later, everyone was wearing masks. I think that if we all wore tinfoil hats for about a year, it would be enough to

Mass Holibob Brawl Erupts In St. Ives After Seagull Snatches Engagement Ring. A romantic marriage proposal in St. Ives, Cornwall turned into a chaotic mass brawl on Saturday, as holidaymakers clashed outside a pub. The unexpected turn of events began when a seagull swooped in and snatched an engagement ring from a man about to propose to his partner. The couple, visiting from Surrey, had chosen the iconic location by a red phone box, next to the beach as the perfect spot for their special moment. As the man got down on one knee and opened the ring box, a curious crowd gathered to witness the heartwarming scene. However, the atmosphere quickly shifted as a seagull made off with the ring, much to the amusement of onlookers. Determined to retrieve the ring, the man chased after the bird, only to be bombarded by a second seagull, which pooped all over him. As he returned, ringless to his partner, a drunken holidaymaker, shouted "A bird shitting on you is a sign of good luck, mate! M

  Dogger Airlifted To Treliske Hospital With Bum Stuck In Car Window. A man participating in an outdoor swinger party in Cornwall found himself in a rather awkward situation. The individual, known as Dave, accidentally trapped his exposed rear end in an electric car window of a Ford C-Max while "dogging." The incident occurred at the North Cliffs car park, located between Portreath and Godrevy. The car park is situated in an "area of outstanding natural beauty," sparking outrage among locals who are shocked to learn about the scandalous activities taking place on their local clifftops. The mishap unfolded when the man accidentally stepped on the electric window switch while attempting to maneuver himself. As a result, the window wound up, catching his bare buttock in a painful and embarrassing embrace. A witness, who doesn't want to be named, said, "Dave and Bridget were getting it on and there were about ten of us watching. It all happened so quickly; one