Skip to main content

Lanner Bingo moved


User

King's Coronation Causes Cornwall Bingo Controversy: Lanner Locals Ready to Sue.

Lanner, Cornwall - In a move that has caused unprecedented upheaval in the typically tranquil Cornish village of Lanner, the much-anticipated weekly bingo night has been rescheduled due to the upcoming coronation of King Charles III. The decision has sparked outrage among the local community, with one incensed villager even threatening legal action against the King.

The village hall, usually abuzz with the excited chatter and the clatter of bingo balls every Thursday night, will instead remain silent this week. The move comes as the nation prepares to celebrate the coronation of the King, a historic event which will see television networks across the UK broadcasting the ceremony live.

But for the villagers of Lanner, the merriment surrounding the coronation has been overshadowed by their disappointment at the postponement of their cherished bingo night.

"I've been attending bingo night every week for the past 20 years. It's the highlight of my week," grumbled Mrs. Iris Jenkins, 78, a long-time Lanner resident. "The King wouldn't miss his tea for bingo, so why should we miss our bingo for him?"

A sense of betrayal pervades the community, with some residents expressing disbelief that such a decision could be made without their consultation. Local regular, Mr. Albert Hodge, 83, was particularly vocal in his displeasure.

"Threatening to sue the King might seem extreme," said Mr. Hodge, "But it's high time someone took a stand for us regular folks. Our weekly bingo is more than just a game, it's a tradition, a community gathering. It shouldn't be cast aside for some pomp and ceremony in London."

The suggestion of a lawsuit against the King has sent ripples through the wider community, raising eyebrows among legal experts who highlight the complexities and potential futility of such a claim. However, Mr. Hodge remains undeterred, asserting his determination to fight for his right to play bingo.

Lanner's parish council has been quick to soothe the discontent, assuring residents that the cancellation is a one-off event.

"The coronation is a significant historical event that requires our respect and attention," said Councillor Maria Stevens. "We understand the disappointment of the bingo regulars, but this is not a decision we made lightly. We are looking forward to a grand bingo night next week to compensate for the disruption."

Despite these assurances, a petition demanding the reinstatement of the original bingo schedule is circulating around the village and has already garnered significant support.

As the nation prepares to celebrate a new era of monarchy, it seems that the repercussions of this historic event are being felt in the most unexpected places. And as the people of Lanner have shown, community traditions are not easily dismissed, even for a King.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dogger Airlifted To Treliske Hospital With Bum Stuck In Car Window.

  Dogger Airlifted To Treliske Hospital With Bum Stuck In Car Window. A man participating in an outdoor swinger party in Cornwall found himself in a rather awkward situation. The individual, known as Dave, accidentally trapped his exposed rear end in an electric car window of a Ford C-Max while "dogging." The incident occurred at the North Cliffs car park, located between Portreath and Godrevy. The car park is situated in an "area of outstanding natural beauty," sparking outrage among locals who are shocked to learn about the scandalous activities taking place on their local clifftops. The mishap unfolded when the man accidentally stepped on the electric window switch while attempting to maneuver himself. As a result, the window wound up, catching his bare buttock in a painful and embarrassing embrace. A witness, who doesn't want to be named, said, "Dave and Bridget were getting it on and there were about ten of us watching. It all happened so quickly; one

Truro Locals Slam King Charles Statue, Saying It Looks Like Mr Potato Head.

  Truro Locals Slam King Charles Statue, Saying It Looks Like Mr Potato Head. TRURO, UK — The recent unveiling of a statue commemorating the upcoming coronation of King Charles III in Truro, Cornwall, has been met with widespread ridicule from the community, with many residents claiming that the artwork bears an uncanny resemblance to the popular children's toy, Mr Potato Head. The statue, which was unveiled last week in the heart of the city and cost taxpayers half a million pounds, was intended to celebrate the coronation of King Charles III, scheduled to take place this weekend. The clay artwork, commissioned by the Malpas City Council and created by local artist Peter Pardlington, stands at 5 feet and portrays the soon-to-be-crowned monarch. However, the artwork has quickly become a joke for Truro residents, who argue that the statue is closer to Mr Potato Head than to the future king. "Half a million for that! It looks like something my 2-year-old son made!" said loc

Mandatory Tin Foil Hat Law To Combat Global Warming.

New Law Will Force Britons To Wear Tinfoil Hats Outdoors To Combat Global Warming. The UK government has announced plans to mandate the wearing of tinfoil hats outdoors in an attempt to combat climate change. This decision comes after a recent scientific study conducted by the Climate Institute (CI), revealed that if every individual in the UK, wore a tinfoil hat outdoors, the reflection of sunlight, away from the earth would significantly reduce the earth's temperature, thereby reversing climate change. The project will cost somewhere in the region of £2 billion pounds. A 43-year-old unemployed man from Cornwall, named Steve Heller, has already started wearing a tinfoil hat and believes that everyone should do the same. He said, "I wear my hat all the time. It's like masks. If you were seen wearing a mask, people would say you were stupid. Then a few months later, everyone was wearing masks. I think that if we all wore tinfoil hats for about a year, it would be enough to